WATER PIPE BURST!
Recently in the city of Osiris (most well known for it’s silent guardian, Dark Chocolate) a colossal tectonic movement caused one of the water pipes to explode flooding most of the city. Because of this evacuations have been hard. So far six million of the nine million population have been reported missing. Rescue services and law enforcement say that they’re counting on Dark Chocolate as the absence of law enforcement has sparked much unwanted crime. See interview with police commissioner Arthur Stephens in “Interview with Commissioner Stephens” further down.
Also see:
- Royal Otter-Cookie Wedding
- Appleseed Memorial
- Dark Chocolate: Friend Or Foe?
- Attempt on Leslie Cupcaka’s life
- Interview with Commissioner Stephens
- New Bandit Group in Otter Community
- Gene Editing Or Drugs?
Otter Prince and Cookie Secret Rooms Hotel Heiress engaged!
In recent days rumours have been spreading that the prince and heir to the throne of Louis Otterton ll, Alexander Otterton lll will be marrying heiress to Secret Rooms Hotels, Jana Bake-Chip. Yesterday they confirmed that they were indeed getting married. The wedding will be at Otterton Castle and it is believed that their honeymoon will be at one of the new Secret Rooms Hotel. This isn’t all sunshine or happiness though as the wedding may be postponed so the couple and friends can pay their respects to Alexander’s adopted brother and was to be Best Man, Appleseed who died of mould.
Appleseed Memorial
DARK CHOCOLATE: FRIEND, FOE OR FOOD?
In the last year a new hero (as some would say) has been protecting Osiris. Not much can be said about this masked vigilante. What has been confirmed is that he is male, Cupcake and 5.2 centimetres tall. Many have questioned is this a friend, foe or food? Commissioner Stephens believes that he is a friend and many around him including some of the OPDF (Osiris Police Defence Force) believe so as well. Others including Mayor Constantine himself believe that this vigilante is an ‘old mouldy scumbag who is trying to spark the next revolution’. Currently people are trying to make the Mayor realise that they need Dark Chocolate right now. Hopefully the silent guardian will heed their call for help.
Assasinnation Attempt On Leslie Cupcaka
While giving a speech about the new agencies, gene editing and ironically peace 3 lasers were fired at Leslie Cupcaka. The first laser hit the newly appointed head of CSA (Cupcake Secret Agency) Penelope Soya, the second would’ve hit Felicity Cupcaka had Leslie Cupcaka not intervened and got shot right in the hip. The next shot was deflected by Felicity Cupcaka and accidently hit a nearby bodyguard. The shooter was apprehended by Leslie Cupcaka though he was in terrible condition. Before taking a Mould Inflation Pill he was asked who sent him and his words were exactly ‘A terrible crisis is coming. A crisis worse than a dimension collapsing, a crisis worse than toys fighting and a crisis worse than the voids.’ Many don’t understand it but it is believed he is referencing three different events but one of which is unknown. The fall of heaven or hell in the Mobilo dimension, the first toy war and the last of which is unknown.
Interview with Commissioner Stephens
Commissioner Stephens of the OPDF just managed to escape the flood that occured three hours later. The details are amazing. Stephens says that while investigating a crime scene at a Secret Rooms Hotel the flood hit and he just managed to jump to the rope on the helicopter. Most refugees are in Leslie Tower now but because of everyone being cramped the OPDF have had to make unpleasant and unknowing trips to different buildings including Secret Rooms hotels to establish outposts and stations given that the OPD (Osiris Police Department) is submerged underwater. Ships and submarines have also been brought upon the island to be used as anonymous exports, bases of operations and pirate ships.
New Bandit Group In Otter Community
Recently in the Otterman Empire broadcasts have been made in large and popular cities like New Yotter, City Of Demons, Scotterland and Otterlaide from the new bandits: Otter Reapers. Though they are called Otter Reapers they also have raccoons working with and for them. Their current motives are unknown but King Louis ll says he is dispatching the FBO (Federal Bureau of Otters) to investigate. So far they’ve committed E-theft, burglary, assault, abduction, arson and hacking. So far they’ve abducted 4 otters, 3 cupcakes, 8 cookies and 2 ckats. Although recently their thefts have been cut short and the remaining tokens and folds have been stolen by someone identified as ‘BadKaT81’. The FBO can assure us that BadKaT81 will be caught as well as the Otter Reapers.
Gene Editing Or Drugs?
In the last two years Leslie Industries and Otter Odyssey Inc. have been working on an updated, easier and cheaper way for gene editing. Enter the Pod. The Pod is a highly successful machine that will help you change your genes in any way shape or form. You could even create life! Many companies and cities are investing in this although others disagree with this option and think it would be more efficient to use the Mad Pill and other products from Totally Not Evil & Corrupt Dynosaur Industries. Their products have had mixed results in the past. Very mixed.
Written by: Darius Martin (BubbaHealthy) Edited by: Ky Redman (Aztex Studios)